The Bright Side

(Note: Reposting this story from 2017, due to some issues with the blog.)

“Do you believe in destiny”, he asked.

“ I believe we are the masters of our life. I believe that destiny is just an excuse for people to not move their asses and take life into control”, she said.

“But do you believe that two people who are meant to be will find their way to each other?” he asked, hoping she gets it.

She decided to tell him. It was time.

“I used to. I met someone who made me believe. And then, it ended. Weirdly, that’s when I believed even more. I believed that he had come into my life to teach me something- to not change myself to be someone’s girlfriend.

I got over it. It took a while, but I did. But then, I noticed a fairly disturbing trait in myself. It pains me to admit it, but he started affecting who I would get attracted to. Someone who reminded me too much of him, I would steer clear of- because I don’t believe in repeating mistakes. I would usually only ever date people who were polar opposites of him.

And that has made all the difference. I realized that I could never have a relationship if I made my dating choices based on the one I thought I was destined for. So, I decided to let go. My ideas about destiny and well, him. It’s not that we weren’t meant to be. I don’t want to give a relationship some sort of cosmic status. I think we were just two people who couldn’t meet halfway. If you try hard enough, you can control a lot of things in your life. I don’t think I am capable of going with the flow.”

He said:

“You said you let him go. Now, for both of our sakes, let go of that psychobabble in your head. You’ve always been like this, I should know. You think there’s a rational explanation for all your reactions. You forget that sometimes, that’s all they are-reactions to actions.

You don’t understand that not everything in this world can be controlled. Your life, is not just your own. Yes, you can control your reactions, most of the time. But you can’t control others – and their actions/reactions will affect your life in ways you cannot fathom. The more you try to control every moment, the more pressure you’re putting on this tiny brain of yours.

And, what you think I don’t know about this boy? Your mother told me the same day that you told her.”

She gasped, “ She told you. MOMMMMMM!”

He said, “Baccha, you know your mother and I don’t have any secrets when it comes to you. If it helps, she tried very hard!”

She said, “ Well. Thanks for adding to the impossible ideals of relationships. What is this, yaar! Pops, I’m going now. “

Kavita entered just then, spectacles on her head as usual and the usual three bags- one lunch, one handbag, one laptop bag.

Prateek rushed to help her. As he grabbed her laptop bag, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, he said “ Daughter. Upset. Room.”

Kavita glared at him, “ Couldn’t keep it to yourself, na!”

Prateek said, “It’s an old relationship. She’s over it. She told me herself, but then found out. I’m glad she told me herself, though. We raised a good kid. She, like you and I, can’t keep secrets. Not so good in the real world, though. People will take advantage of my poor child.”

In her room, Prerna is wondering what to do with the barrage of emotions inside her. Ever since that talk with her father, she cannot help but go to all his social media profiles.  But strangely, she feels empty. Nothing comes up. She can’t describe this emptiness. It’s not the familiar relief she had when realized she was over him, or the grief when she used to miss him.

This is weird.

Kavita walks in, two mugs of green tea in her hand “ I know what you’re about to do. Don’t text that boy, child.”

“I wasn’t mom. Just weird emptiness situation here.” Prerna says.

“Oh, that’s normal. It’ll pass. Sorry, you know….”

“That Dad and you don’t have secrets. Yeah. It’s fine.”

Prateek walks in, two glasses in hand.

“What’s this. I got your favorite gin and tonic, bacha. What is this green tea nonsense, Kavu! Chal mere sher puttar, let’s have some gin. Chodo yeh green tea!”

As she saw her parents bicker over green tea and gin and tonic, she realized, no matter what, she would be okay.