Plot Twists

It was his birthday eve.

“Happy almost 30th birthday, Vikram! May you stay happy always. To plot twists. To you. Have a wonderful one.”- she’d texted.

“Plot twists?” he’d asked her.

“I’ll tell you, at 11:59 pm tonight. Not a minute earlier, not a minute later. Till then, enjoy your birthday eve!”

He mulled over this for a while, but thought no more of it. His closest friends flew in to surprise him. They had made plans –and it wasn’t until they were all sitting on his roof at 10 p.m. with their drinks, did her name even come up.

“Did she wish you?” they asked.

“Yes, but it was very cryptic. I wonder what she means”, he said- showing them the text.

“This does seem cryptic. But hey, it’s going to be 11:59 in a couple of hours. We’ll all stay for this”, they all decided.

So, they waited, talking about life, careers, regaling each other with their childhood stories and adult mishaps.

At 11:59, his phone vibrated.

A hushed silence fell, as all of them wondered what exactly this was about.

“Dare I open this text?” he asked, gazing around the widened eyes of his friends.

He opened.

She had written-

“Of all the plot twists in my life, you were by far the most unexpected.

I don’t know if I mean that in a good way or a bad way.
When you were with me, I felt a strange peace. Until, I didn’t.

When we stopped being a “We”. I wish you didn’t run.

But well, here we are- on our different paths and while it seems to me to be a damn shame, I realise this might just be a part of fate’s games.

Because, in your absence also, there is a strange peace.

That last fight - it took a lot from me.
Maybe I did grow tired of fighting for us, when you couldn’t.
My mind remembers the words you said, and it refuses to believe you could be so cruel.

Maybe it believes in your potential, maybe it’s blind to your reality.
Even as I say this, it feels like a reproach.
I wonder when will I give permission to myself to reproach you.
This silence- it eggs me on, to imagine scenarios that never existed, to imagine words that were never spoken and worlds that could have been.
I wonder, till when do I have to keep fighting against the two lawyers in me- one fighting for you and one fighting against you.
It’s a losing battle - because both of them will hurt me equally.
They tell me things I refuse to allow myself to think.

And yet, grief does not come.

Which makes me wonder, am I grieving for us or am I actually happier with who I’ve become in order to get over you?

You used to say things about our timing, that it wasn’t right.

I wonder if that’s true though.

You came into my life when I was at my lowest, and helped me see myself in a better light.

When you left, that stayed with me.

I built myself back up again, and made a lot of radical changes in my life- just to hold on to the person I wanted to be.

Maybe you came into my life to help me, be me.

Maybe we will meet again, maybe we won’t.

But I think I’m finally at peace, even if I’m not over you.

My dear friend helped me see all this. It’s his birthday, and so I’m doing this today.”

He was barely done reading that, when another text came:

“Dear Vikram,

Thank you for that talk. You helped me rationalize all of my thoughts and I finally sent him this.

I feel so much better and it’s all because of you.

You will always be my strength.

Thank you, for everything.

I did you a disservice when I tried to be more than a friend, when I wasn’t fully over the ex.

I never want you to feel like you were the rebound. I guess I was vulnerable.

Thank you for pushing me away that time. It might have been the smartest thing you ever did.

So, for your birthday, I decided to take your advice.

I had been working on this for a while.

Filmy, that I am, I did this on your birthday.

One last thing, V. 

Don’t think that this is your birthday gift! It’s on its way- Amazon should be at your doorstep tomorrow morning.

Thank you for being the sane one.”

Amongst cries of “You pushed her away?”/“What even?”/  “Phew!”/ “Yeahhhhh…I’m glad I’m not sober for this.”,Vikram just smiled. It was the smile of a man who was truly at peace with the world.